Big Foot Duck (Mama Squeeze)

MALLARD was formed by BILL HARKLEROAD (Zoot Horn Rollo) and MARK BOSTON (Rockette Morton) who were vital MAGIC BAND musicians playing with CAPTAIN BEEFHEART from 1968 through 1974, along with master percussionist ARTIE TRIPP (Ed Marimba). In 1974, that trio departed from Don Van Vliet to record an eponymous album in England. Ted Alvy had cosmic good fortune to write lyrics on four Mallard songs. The 1994 MALLARD CD contains their only two LPs (1975 & 1976).

From the second (and final) album by MALLARD called *In A Different Climate*

"MAMA SQUEEZE"
Lyrics by Ted Alvy and Bill Harkleroad [ASCAP]
Music by Bill Harkleroad [ASCAP]
Title by Bill Harkleroad

I said the freeze is on and the chill it will kill
The iceman cometh
I just can't pay my bill
I just can't stand the cold
I need someone to hold

Mama squeeze me 'til my poor heart overbeats
Mama squeeze me 'til my body overheats

Last night my pipes froze just when my sore throat went dry
Stoked up the fire 'til the chimney it did cry
Opened the freezer, found the food was all rotten
Ate from the cupboard what the rats hadn't gotten

Mama tease me
Mama please me
Please mama tease
Mama squeeze

I said the air was old and stale and dirt thick
The gas mask was clumsy and wouldn't do the trick
I can't stand push and shove
I need someone to love

Mama squeeze me
Mama tease me
Mama please me
Mama tease me
Mama squeeze me

COPYRIGHT 1976 TED ALVY AND BILL HARKLEROAD

From the second (and final) album by MALLARD called *In A Different Climate*

"BIG FOOT"
Lyrics by Ted Alvy and Bill Harkleroad [ASCAP]
Music by Bill Harkleroad [ASCAP]

Deep among the jungle Zanzabar trees
Hear the loud buzzing of a thousand bees
Big Foot comes floppin', his walk is a dance
Wears no shirt or pants, he don't need romance
His hair is processed, nineteen-eighty-four
Shufflin' his feet across the jungle floor

Eight foot eight when he's standin' straight
Fingers ivory eighty-eights
Shufflin' feet and sloppy gait
And a Big Foot

Hairy like an ape, standin' like a man
Blacker than midnight, he don't need no tan
Stridin' lengthy lank, movin' through the brush
He don't keep clocks or time, got no need to rush

Some long lost safari
Left kegs of jungle rum
And an old piano
Among six conga drums

He started drinkin' like Mighty Joe Young
Licked the last drop with his King Kong tongue
Then he played a boogie woogie jungle beat
He pounded the rhythm with his great big feet

Eight foot eight when he's standin' straight
Fingers ivory eighty-eights
Shufflin' feet and sloppy gait
And a Big Foot

COPYRIGHT 1976 TED ALVY AND BILL HARKLEROAD

The "Texas Weather" lyrics below were inspired by NEON PARK and the smiling *Texas Tomato* in a hammock from his painting on the cover of the LITTLE FEAT album "Waiting For Columbus" (the name of the painting used as the LP title)

From the second (and final) album by MALLARD called *In A Different Climate*

"TEXAS WEATHER"
Lyrics by Ted Alvy ASCAP
Music by Bill Harkleroad ASCAP

Tropical flatland, early spring midnight
Swamp
bog seethin'
Air too wet for breathin'
Sunless morning brings tornado warning
Cyclone's sister, the Texas twister

Long neck people drinkin' it down
There ain't no reason for lookin' around
Nothin's changed in this Lone Star place
But a Texas Tomato is well worth the chase

Cockroaches so big that they bark
Water moccasins that lurk in the dark
Ain't no place for a sane man to be
But my Texas Tomato she is something to see

Stubborn, lazy, hardcore crazy
Tough as desert lizard leather
Lowdown Texas country weather

Tropical flatland, early spring midnight
Swamp
bog seethin'
Air too wet for breathin'
Sunless morning brings tornado warning
Cyclone's sister, the Texas twister

Cockroaches so big that they bark
Water moccasins that lurk in the dark
Ain't no place for a sane man to be
But my Texas Tomato she is something to see

COPYRIGHT 1976 TED ALVY

From the first album by MALLARD (1975):

"SHE'S LONG AND SHE'S LEAN"
Lyrics by Ted Alvy [ASCAP]
Music by Bill Harkleroad and Mark Boston [ASCAP]

Too many times I've woke up on the floor
Defying gravity finding the door
Stumblin' on the street looking for some scene
Now I remember, she's long and she's lean

Don't know what hit me, I must like the pain
Think I'd know better, I'm in love again

Stuck in some barroom 'round closing time
Drinking straight tequila with salt and lime
She looked so hungry in her faded jeans
Dressed up for business, she's long and she's lean

Invited her home to my one room flat
Unbuckled my belt and I took off my hat
Did my best Bogart impression of mean
Undressed for pleasure, she's long and she's lean

Don't know what hit me, I must like the pain
Counting my lovers, is like counting the rain

My first real lovin' came to me that night
Come the sunrise, she's nowhere in sight
Searchin' all places, holy and obscene
Can't find my lover, she's long and she's lean

I know what hit me, I must feel the pain
She never was real, I must be insane
Alcoholic haze, perception unkeen,
Hand me the bottle, she's long and she's lean

Stuck in some barroom 'round closing time
Drinking straight tequila with salt and lime
Searchin' all places, holy and obscene
Can't find my lover, she's long and she's lean

COPYRIGHT 1975 TED ALVY

[Lyrics above were inspired by a fantasy about Cindy (the artist) at The Palace, on 2nd Street, in Oldtown, Eureka, California, 1972]

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